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A very modest lady applied for a job at the factory where they made "Tickle me Elmo dolls". It was Friday and almost quitting time and hurriedly the boss told her to report for work on Monday. He quickly explained to her she would be stationed on the assembly line just before the dolls were packed into boxes.

On Monday they started up the line and within twenty minutes had to shut it down because one worker couldn't keep up. The boss went down the line to find the problem. The new employee was very busy trying to do her part but she had a bunch of dolls waiting for her. Closer examination showed she was sewing little cloth bags containing two walnuts in the appropriate place on the dolls.

The boss could not control his laughter and said, "Lady, I said to give each doll Two----Test----Tickles."





"I have good news and bad news," the defense lawyer says to his client."

"What's the bad news?"

The lawyer says, "Your blood matches the DNA found at the murder scene."

"No!" cries the client. "What's the good news?"

"Well," the lawyer says, "Your cholesterol is down to 140."





1stPerson: "Do you know anything about this fax-machine?"

2nd Person: "A little. What's wrong?"

1st Person: "Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to say all she received was a cover-sheet and a blank page. I tried it again, and the same thing happened."

2nd Person: "How did you load the sheet?"

1st Person: "It's a pretty sensitive memo, and I didn't want anyone else to read it by accident, so I folded it so only the recipient could open it and read it."





The policeman had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet his partner of 20 years stood by his side every single day.

One day, when he came to, he motioned for his partner to come nearer, and whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. Every time I got brought up on departmental charges, you were there to support and cover me. The three times I got shot during those narcotics busts, you were there. When I got kicked off the force and lost my house, you were there for me. When my wife left me, you were still by my side. You know what?"

"What?" His partner gently asked, smiling as his heart began to fill with warmth.

"I think you're real bad luck!!"







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