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Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.

The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.

Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.

She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."

Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.

After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, 'comfortable.'"

The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, 'comfortable'?"

The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde."

"She'll read it very slow."





Three doctors are waiting in line at the pearly gates. St. Peter asks the first one, "What have you done to enter Heaven?" "I am a pediatrician, and I brought thousands of the Lord's babies into the world."

"Good enough to enter the gates," replies St. Peter, and in he goes. Then St. Peter asks the second doctor, "What have you done to enter Heaven?"

"I am a general practitioner, and I went to Third World countries three times a year to cure the poor."

St. Peter is impressed, and allows him through the gates.

The third doctor steps up in line and, knowing the question, blurts out, "I was a director of an HMO."

St. Peter meditates on this for a while, and then says, "Fine, you can enter Heaven... but only for 2 days."





An insurance salesman was visiting a beekeeper to determine how much risk there was in insuring a bee ranch, but he was really nervous being around so many hives of bees. He told the beekeeper he was afraid of being attacked by a swarm of bees. The beekeeper said "Nonsense, these bees are really docile and there's nothing to be afraid of, I never get stung, even when I'm handling them. I know none of my bees would sting you. Why I'm so sure you're safe, if I tie you naked to that tree over yonder for a couple of hours, and you get stung by even one bee, I'll give you my whole ranch, lock stock and barrel, that's how sure I am that it's safe." The insurance man thought about this for a moment, but his greed got the better of him, so he said "You're on, if even one bee stings me, I get the ranch." The beekeeper replied "It's a deal, but you have to give me that insurance if I win." The deal was set. The insurace man took off his clothes and the beekeeper tied him to the tree. I have to go into town for a couple of hours, when I get back I'll untie you, and the beekeeper drove off down the road in his pickup.

A couple of hours later the beekeeper comes back from town, and as he drives up, he sees the salesman slumped down, still tied to the tree, and a chill goes through his heart. He jumps out of the truck, and runs up to the man "Are you all right? Did you get stung? "

The salesman raises his head slowly and replies "No, I didn't get stung. But you need to get a milk cow for that calf."







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