The Careers page is under development

A group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women in the group was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining. The bus seats are uncomfortable. The food is terrible. It's too hot. It's too cold. The accommodations are awful.

The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone. "Good luck will be followin' ya all your days if you kiss the Blarney Stone,"the guide said. "Unfortunately, it's being cleaned today and so no one will be able to kiss it. Perhaps we can come back tomorrow."

"We can't be here tomorrow," the nasty woman shouted. "We have some other boring tour to go on. So I guess we can't kiss the stupid stone."

"Well now," the guide said, "it is said that if you kiss someone who has kissed the stone, you'll have the same good fortune."

"And I suppose you've kissed the stone?" the woman scoffed.

"No, ma'am," the frustrated guide said, "but I've sat on it."





Dr. Jack Kevorkian Virus:

Deletes all old files.

Ellen Degeneres Virus:

Disks can no longer be inserted.

Titanic Virus:

Your whole computer goes down.

Disney Virus:

Everything in your computer goes Goofy.

Prozac Virus:

Screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.

Joey Buttafuoco Virus:

Only attacks minor files.

Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus:

Terminates zome viles, leaves, but it vill be baaack.





A law firm receptionist answered the phone the morning after the firm's senior partner had passed away unexpectedly. "Is Mr. Spenser there?" asked the client on the phone. "I'm very sorry, but Mr. Spenser passed away last night," the receptionist answered. "Can anyone else help you?"

The man paused for a moment, then quietly said 'no' and hung up.

Ten minutes later, he called again and asked for Mr. Spenser, his ex-wife's lawyer.

The receptionist said, "You just called a few minutes ago, didn't you? Mr. Spenser has died. I'm not making this up." The man again hung up.

Fifteen minutes later, he called a third time and asked for Mr. Spenser. The receptionist was irked by this time. "I've told you twice already, Mr. Spenser is dead. He is not here! Why do you keep asking for him when I say he's dead? Don't you understand what I'm saying?"

The man replied, "I understand you perfectly. I just like hearing you say it over and over."







The links to contents pages are not yet named, just numbered. It will be done in the near future.



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